by
Carole Copeland Thomas
Equal
Rights, Civil Rights & Gay Marriage
Is America Dismantling Diversity?
Message In The Madness
Bounce Back From Life’s Setbacks
Permission
is granted to reprint these articles as long as Carole Copeland
Thomas is credited as the author.
Equal
Rights, Civil Rights & Gay Marriage
By Carole Copeland Thomas, MBA
I am female.
I am a mother.
I am a divorcee.
I am heterosexual
I am a practicing diversity advocate.
I am a staunch lifetime member of the African Methodist
Episcopal Church (AME) with family ties to my church dating
back to the mid-1800s.
and
I support the Massachusetts
Supreme Judicial Court’s ruling in support of Gay Marriage.
I fully expect that this declaration now
risks my status as a member of the Trustee Board of Bethel
AME Church-Boston and realize that it puts me at odds with
those who oppose gay marriage, including the Black Ministerial
Alliance of Boston and The Ten Point Coalition (a very successful
faith-based organization based in Boston). While traveling
for the past two weeks I have thought deeply about this
controversial issue and heard the passionate comments voiced
on both sides. While in Washington, DC last week attending
the legislative conference of my public service sorority,
Delta Sigma Theta, I briefly met my congressman, Barney
Frank, and expressed my concerns to him. Last week after
returning to Boston, I was glued to my television, watching
the Constitutional Convention of the Massachusetts State
Legislature and witnessed three proposed amendments voted
down by members of the House and Senate that would ban gay
marriages in this state.
I’ve heard the politicians. I’ve
listened to the sentiments from members of the gay and straight
communities. I’ve evaluated the remarks from the non-profit
organizations that oppose and favor gay marriages. I’ve
reviewed the lengthy November 2003 ruling on gay marriage
by the Massachusetts Supreme Judicial Court (SJC).
And I’ve concluded that not granting
gay men and women same sex marriage rights is a violation
of their civil rights.
It is a form of legalized discrimination.
Here are some of the reasons why I support
gay marriage:
1. The SJC carefully
analyzed the legal definition of civil marriages before
ruling on this landmark case. In its ruling, it made the
case that denying same sex marriage was a form of discrimination.
The plaintiffs in this case Hillary Goodridge
& others vs. Department of Public Health & another
argue that the "the marriage restriction (between a
man and a woman) violates the Massachusetts Constitution.
The plaintiffs argue that because nothing in that licensing
law specifically prohibits marriages between persons of
the same sex, we may interpret the statute to permit ‘qualified
same sex couples’ to obtain marriage licenses."
As I read this case, the fourteen individual
plaintiffs from five Massachusetts counties are not disputing
the union between a man and woman so much as they are challenging
the assumed ban on members of the same sex getting married.
"Section 1 and 2 of G.L.c.207 prohibits marriages between
a man and certain female relatives and a woman and certain
male relatives, but are silent as to the consanguinity of
male-male or female-female marriage applicants."
In the end, the SJC defined a civil marriage
as follows:
"We construe civil marriage to mean
the voluntary union of two persons as spouses, to the exclusion
of all others. This reformulation redresses the plaintiff’s
constitutional injury and furthers the aim of marriage to
promote stable, exclusive relationships."
2. Defining marriage
purely as the union of a man and woman for the sake of procreation
leaves out millions of persons whose marriages never produce
children.
As a 50 year old divorced mother of three,
there may be a possibility that I may remarry in the future.
Since my childbearing days are over (thank God), getting
pregnant and having more children in a second marriage is
not an option for me. Would that mean that my marriage would
be any less valued than a couple who could bear children?
And what about the countless loving couples who, for whatever
reason, can’t have children? Are there marriages less
valued that those who have a house filled with kids?
Defining marriage solely for the purpose
of procreation limits the loving and nurturing relationships
that will never produce children. It does not, however,
threaten the intent of those who want to bear children.
That right is reserved for those who find procreation a
natural part of their relationship.
3. Civil marriage
is a legalized partnership authorized by each state, and
precedes the consecration of a faith-based ceremony.
In the United States, a couple must obtain
a marriage license before having a civil or religious ceremony
that "blesses" the union of a couple. The state
defines what a civil marriage is, and what it is not. Similarly,
when a couple divorces in the United States, it must endure
that painful process through the courts. Again, it becomes
a matter of a civil "dis-union."
Understandably so, religious practices,
ceremonies, and rituals share center stage with the union
of a happy couple as evident by the millions of marriages
that are performed in churches, temples, mosques, and other
holy shrines throughout this country. But before these faith-based
services can be performed, a couple must secure a marriage
license from their respective government office.
4. Civil unions
alone are not equal to civil marriages. They are by definition
a step below marriage.
One of the most compelling arguments that
swayed me to the side of those supporting gay marriages
is the fact that benefits are not necessarily guaranteed
to gay couples. This is especially true for couples who
have adopted children (a legalized practice here in Massachusetts
and many other states.) If a gay partner dies or becomes
disabled, the respective benefits (health/dental insurance,
disability insurance, life insurance, etc.) may not automatically
cover the surviving partner and children involved in the
relationship. In some states that have banned civil unions,
benefits to the surviving gay partner may be prohibited
altogether. Is that fair for those hard-working men and
men who work, contribute to a benefits plan and social security,
yet whose families are unable to collect because their state
does not recognize their union... or marriage to a gay partner?
I find that to be a form of discrimination.
5. Biblical interpretation
is just that ....Biblical interpretation. The same holds
true for other religious teachings.
Before you tar and feather me, hear me
out.
Who’s to say what faith-based organization
holds THE key to THE leading interpretation of the scriptures?
Is it the AME Church? The Baptist Church? The Protestant
Church in general? The Catholic Church? What about the Jewish
Faith? And who said this title doesn’t belong to the
Muslims? Or the Buddhists? Or the Hindus?
What about the Atheists who don’t
believe in God? Or the Agnostics?
Or those practicing Voodoo? Or the countless
forms of religious beliefs observed by the 6.3 billion people
on the planet?
Who is right? Who is not?
Are you angry yet? Have you ever thought
about this?
Religious interpretation goes hand in
hand with the faith that we have in our respective faith
based institution. Dictionary.com defines faith as
"Confident belief in the truth, value, or trustworthiness
of a person, idea, or thing. The theological virtue defined
as secure belief in God and a trusting acceptance of God's
will. The body of dogma of a religion: the Muslim faith."
Therefore it is our faith, our belief
system, our set of values that determines the validity we
hold as "truth" in our respective religious scriptures
and interpretations. And they differ based on how we see
their importance in our lives and our cultures.
In a multicultural society such as the
United States, it is the law that unifies our communities,
our neighborhoods, and our homes. It demands that we respect
our differences (religious practices, etc.) while recognizing
the unifying legality of our city, town, county, state,
and federal laws.
So when I hear the arguments against gay
marriage for religious reasons, I can’t help but think
about the plurality of our society and the complexities
of religious and non-religious thought.
Is it right for my religious interpretation
to supercede yours just because more than 87% of Americans
are Christians?
My belief is that the members of the Massachusetts
Supreme Judicial Court carefully ruled on this controversial
case in full respect of ALL religious teachings that form
the driving force of the citizens of this state.
6. Gay marriages
will have LITTLE risk on heterosexual marriages.
My 20-year marriage and subsequent divorce
had nothing to do with the relationships of gay couples.
In fact gay relationships only target a small percentage
of people on our society. (An estimated 10% of the total
population is GLBT-Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual or Transgender.)
Heterosexuals do a fine job of corrupting
society. Just count the number of sexually explicit emails
that are sent every day to annoyed people like me and other
unsuspecting cyber users. And consider cases of infidelity,
child abuse, spousal abuse, drug and alcohol abuse, and
cruel behavior between men and women that will never make
the front pages of the Boston Globe or the New York Times.
We heterosexuals should concentrate on
cleaning up our own act before parading before the television
cameras to voice our opposition to gay marriage.
In addition, what about the millions of
people who are suffering the ravages of poverty, disease,
unemployment, underemployment, military dictatorships, violence,
death/murder, educational disparities and general neglect?
I see NO ONE standing up before the state
legislature offering amendments in protection against these
critically important societal vices.
The Supreme Judicial Court took an explosive
issue, dissected it, and reformulated the definition of
marriage. In that reformulation, it gave credence to the
legal union of same sex marriage. Unless halted by Part
2 of the Massachusetts Legislature’s Constitutional
Convention, scheduled for March 11th, gays and lesbians
will be allowed to marry starting in May 2004.
For the vast majority of us who are heterosexual,
that historic event will do little to change our lives.
It’s a matter of equal justice under
the law. Not just for some people. But for all of the citizens
of the Commonwealth of Massachusetts.
I welcome your comments.
Carole Copeland Thomas
Is America Dismantling
Diversity?
By Carole Copeland Thomas, MBA
Companies will continue to wrestle with
the issue of race, but diversity efforts that strengthen
alliances and demonstrate commitment to all must continue.
When W.E.B. DuBois (1868-1963) sounded
the trumpets of impending conflict between White nations
and "countries of color" at the turn of this century,
little did the world realize the far-reaching truth of his
words. In The Souls of Black Folk, DuBois states, "the
problem of the twentieth century is the problem of the color-line,
the relation of the darker to the lighter races of men in
Asia and Africa, in America and the islands of the sea."
Indeed as we embrace the 21st century
with astounding technological advances and sweeping demographic
changes on the landscape, it may seem to many that enormous
progress has been made in bridging the chasms created by
race, gender, class, age and sexual orientation in America.
However, when closely examining the current status of race,
gender and other categories now carefully tucked under the
umbrella of "diversity," the prophetic nature
of the alarm sounded by DuBois still rings true.
The More Things Change… This country
has seen sweeping changes since the early days of racial
segregation, lynching, Jim Crow and other then-sanctioned
discriminatory practices. The 19th Amendment granting women
the right to vote was ratified in 1920, the Civil Rights
Act in 1964 and the Immigration Act in 1965. People of color
and women have advanced, and some of their unknown history
has been unearthed. Affirmative action, a set of government-enforced
policies that opened doors to qualified people of color
and women, was officially signed into law under U.S. Presidents
Kennedy and Johnson. Heavily politicized by Presidents Nixon
and Ford, affirmative action has met vehement opposition
since the late 1970s. Although the objectives of affirmative
action and diversity are comparatively different, in the
eyes of many Americans they remain indistinguishable and
impose unfair quotas on minorities and "reverse discrimination"
on whites. The legacy of our past still colors nationwide
diversity initiatives and affirmative action policies in
corporate settings. Some corporations have gone with the
tide of anti-affirmative action rhetoric and have reduced
their efforts to recruit women and people of color. However,
government mandates to protect equal opportunities for all
and the commitment by many companies across the country
to continue diversity programs offer some hope that not
all of our past mistakes will be repeated.
Diversity In A State Of Confusion
"Diversity is in a state of confusion,"
says Virginia Nelson, advisor to the president on community
relations and diversity for the TJX companies. Nelson also
states that, "many people don’t understand the
concept, and simply boil it down to race relations. "It’s
evolving and being reshaped to fit a global world."
Its purpose, though deeply rooted in race
and gender issues, has expanded to include other categories
as well. "Capitalism is driving diversity," states
Dr. Marcy Crary, Ph.D., assistant professor of management
of Bentley College who studies the topic on the academic
level. As the growth of diversity programs spread throughout
the nation and beyond, diversity professionals scramble
to provide a broad range of information that can accommodate
the needs of an increasingly demanding corporate client
base. The subject certainly cannot be limited to just focus
on domestic issues, as diversity is increasingly becoming
a worldwide topic of discussion.
International Diversity Issues
Technology now connects people across
the globe via facsimile, telecommunications and the Internet.
Businesses search to find new reasons to develop international
trade relations in emerging markets. As a result, greater
strides are being made to validate diversity’s value
as an economic bottom-line issue in the global marketplace.
"International diversity is driving domestic diversity,"
says Maurice Wright, Director of Employment Outreach for
BankBoston, one of the nation’s largest financial institutions.
"Our customers expect our bank to reflect this diversity
in its corporate values. Language, culture and ethnicity
are important components of this new international mix.
This is certainly the case when you consider Henrique Morales,
our Brazilian-born bank president."
International groups such as the London-based
African and Caribbean Finance Forum also recognized the
value of diversity in the global marketplace when it hosted
a first-ever international diversity conference in London
in 1996. Held in cooperation with The National Black MBA
Association, the conference compared the dynamics of diversity
in the United Kingdom to the United States.
Middle Management Lip Service
Despite worldwide opportunities, diversity
has yet to be fully embraced by many corporations as an
asset to their labor force. Experts agree that the driving
force behind any successful initiative must begin with senior
management. Diversity consultant Robert L. Young, Jr.,,
Tempe, Arizona says, " For too many companies, diversity
is still a fuzzy, soft, socially nice thing versus a hard
metric that drives performance."
Mary Frances Winters, president of The
Winters Group, a business consulting firm in Rochester,
New York, presided over a CEO roundtable session on diversity
attended by the corporate heads of Kodak, Bausch and Lomb
and Frontier Telephone Company. Says Winters, "The
CEOs get the message, but they admit that the message sometimes
gets lost."
Indeed, the future value of diversity
in the workplace will depend largely on how committed corporate
leaders are, how much is budgeted to develop diversity initiatives
and how well diversity-enhancement programs are maintained
after massive layoffs and cutbacks. Kodak, for example,
had a diversity initiative for over 10 years. Despite the
continued vote of confidence from its president, future
efforts may be in jeopardy as the company downsizes by as
many as 10,000 employees.
As 22-year Kodak veteran, Jonas W. Gadson
served as coordinator of diversity initiatives until cutbacks
forced him into a different position within the company.
Although Gadson feels that senior management is committed
to diversity, he wonders if the commitment has filtered
down to middle management. "There is a big blockage
there. Too often middle managers don’t want to use
it, and are affected by the media. They look at affirmative
action, managing diversity programs and quotas, and simply
tie them altogether," he says.
Middle management lip service rather than
real action threatens diversity initiatives. Too often pronouncements
from the top become the bottlenecks for the middle. This
is especially true when diversity is simply seen as a set
of rules and processes forced on managers. Aaron Nurick,
chairman of the management department at Bentley College,
who teaches and consults on diversity issues agrees. "When
diversity, amplified as an accessory, is merely tacked on
as a special program, its purpose is minimized."
The Future
Given all of the progress made in this
country, the prophecy of W.E.B. DuBois—that the race
problem will impede the progress of this nation—looms
large. As the United States marches toward a new century
companies and organizations must confront the complexities
of diversity in an effort to fully integrate it within the
strategic fabric of their employee populations. In some
ways, diversity is being dismantled and rebuilt to produce
a more complete and durable model. Only through the course
of time and through the commitment of executives, managers,
and workers willing to personalize the concept will diversity
become a permanent instrument of change and progress.
Message In The Madness
By Carole Copeland Thomas, MBA
Originally
published in 1999
I just happened to return home early on
Tuesday, April 20, after a successful client session here
in Boston. While enjoying a health-conscious dinner, I turned
on my television and stared at the chaos in motion being
broadcast on CNN. Littleton, Colorado. Columbine High School.
Shootings. Several reported dead. Students and faculty still
in the building. As many as 25 dead. It seemed about as
unreal as the daily accounts of Yugoslavian refugees fleeing
from Kosovo.
And then the connection struck a bell
for me. My dear friend, National Speakers Association Chapter
Leadership Chair, Pam Gordon, lived in Littleton. Alarm
bells went off in my head when I realized Pam had an 18
year old son who might very well be a Columbine High student.
After dropping my fork, I raced up to my office, dialed
Pam and fortunately got her on the first ring. She was clearly
upset, given the uncertainty of what was actually occurring
at the high school at that time, and all of the students
had yet to be accounted for. By the grace of God, I quickly
learned that Pam’s son was not a Columbine student,
and attended another high school nearby. That relief was
quickly overshadowed by the real possibility that some of
the victims may have been former students of Pam’s
during her earlier years as an elementary school principal.
Weeks have now passed since that dreadful
Tuesday afternoon, and the questions outstrip the answers
society we’re asking about what caused that horrible
school yard massacre. How could suburban teenagers stage
such an episode armed to the teeth with pipe bombs and guns?
How could they slip into the daily routine of that particular
Tuesday open fire, kill 12 students, 1 teacher and then
turn the guns on themselves in a completed suicide pact?
Why were some victims just shot at random, while others,
including the only African American victim, Isaiah Shoels,
were targeted because of race and athletic ability? Why
was one victim, Cassie Bernall, gunned down after professing
her belief in Jesus? More importantly, what does this say
about a nation of astounding wealth and technological achievement
that remains imprisoned by the ghosts of bigotry, hatred
and violence? What is the message that this eighth shootout
in two years spell out for America? Are we moving away from
or closer to the ideals of a nationwide diversity dream
of getting along with one another?
I connected with each parent who lost
a son or daughter that fateful Tuesday afternoon. The 1997
accidental death of my own 17 year old son is still ringing
deeply in my heart. I know what is like to raise a son with
love, attention and parental guidance only to lose him just
days following his high school graduation. And as an African
American Mother of three, my heart ached for the Shoels
family as I replayed the years of my son’s leadership
role and his passion as the co-captain of his high school
football team. I know firsthand that utter pain of losing
a teenager!
I have studied the impact of diversity
for the past twelve years. I have traveled across the country
and presented my workshops and programs to thousands of
people throughout the United States, Canada, Australia and
London, England. There have been times when I have wondered
if my services as a diversity speaker and consultant would
ever become obsolete. After all , it’s been 35 years
since the Civil Rights Bill was passed, and 136 years since
Abraham Lincoln bravely crafted the Emancipation Proclamation
that freed the slaves. Why in this day and age are some
young people so focused on death and destruction, and are
willing to risk it all, while spewing out their rage over
the innocent? And furthermore, why are hatred, intolerance
of others and racism the threads that weave together so
many of these recent public catastrophic events?
These tough questions and the very thoughts
of these hate crimes makes me realize that my work as a
diversity professional has only just begun. The facts are
self evident. All of the last eight U.S. school shootings
have been perpetrated by angry, hate-filled young white
boys. Even the copycat Canadian school shooting that killed
17 year old Jason Lang was orchestrated by a disgruntled,
white 14 year old dropout. Hatred of blacks, Asians, homosexuals
fueled the bombing of a popular London, England night stop
that was frequented by gays and lesbians. At least two people
died in the blast. And the steady stream of Kosovo refugees
being pushed out of their homesteads just illustrates the
hatred of Slobodan Milosevic’s Serbian armed forces
against the ethnic Albanians. In this replay of World War
I, the Christian Orthodox Serbs are violently expressing
their hatred of their ethnic Albanian Moslem neighbors.
What is the message in all of this madness?
As a diversity expert, I would be remiss
if I didn’t look at similar patterns of hatred in full
bloom in other parts of the world. A nasty ethnically driven
civil war is raging in Indonesia. The massacres continue
in Indonesia’ s East Timor, while ethnic cleansing
reached an all time high in West Kalimantan. Hatred between
the indigenous Muslims and the Muslim immigrants has escalated
to the dissection of body parts and human heads thrust on
wooded stakes in an open display of the resentment between
the two Indonesian religious groups.
In Africa ethnic tensions also persists.
More that 500,000 people died in the 1994 Rwandan civil
war between the Hutus and the Tusi’s. The aftermath
of that bloodbath is still an unfinished chapter in African
history. And modern day slavery in the Sudan and Mauritania
is alive and well. I recently met Moctar Teyeb, a 39 year
old Mauritanian immigrant who escaped slavery at the age
of 19. Now living in the United States, Moctar’s mission
in life concerns educating Americans about the current status
of slavery in parts of Africa and Asia, and what steps must
take place to end this worldwide epidemic.
With so many instances of vile treatment
of one human being against another, what is the message
behind the madness? Although one answer is insufficient
in resolving so many complex socioeconomic challenges, this
message is certain: Diversity dialogues are the clearest
path that will lead us to a safer, more productive future.
If we as Americans don’t lead the rest of the world
in facing our diversity problems, our future will remain
in peril. Just as parents have a moral responsibility of
teaching their children the difference between good and
evil, government officials, educators, the media, the music
industry and Hollywood share equally in the task of portraying
a world of promise, hope and opportunity for all people
regardless of race, religion, gender, age, political belief,
sexual orientation or national origin. We all share in the
responsibility of assessing our differences, resolving our
social difficulties, and helping ALL of our children, including
our angry white teenage boys to understand the importance
of respecting others at home, at school and at work. It’s
the dialogue that will make the difference. It’s the
dialogue laced with heavy doses of listening adults that
will divert our volatile march into an agonizing new millennium.
The personal message for each one of us is in the dialogue.
The dialogue will bring us together in a powerfully important
interconnected way.
Bounce Back From Life’s
Setbacks
by Carole Copeland Thomas, MBA
We all have had those gut-wrenching days
in our lives. The time when all of your plans haven’t
seemed to fit neatly in place. They’re the moments
when your important project at work literally fell apart
right in front of your boss’s eyes, leaving you with
your career on the line. They’re the times when your
personal life suffers such a heartbreaking tragedy that
you’re amazed and you’re still standing. And when
the multiple setbacks hit simultaneously both at work and
at home, you may not even want to get out of bed to face
the odds of pulling all of the pieces back together.
We all have had those trying times, and
I am the first person to understand how difficulties can
test your character as a human being. The last seven years
have tested my faith, my stamina as a professional speaker
and my strength as a mother and businesswoman. My life came
crashing down when my 17-year old son, Mickarl D. Thomas
Jr., died in a tragic car accident on June 14, 1997. His
death came six days after graduating from high school with
his twin sister, Michelle. Mikey had everything to live
for, including a full academic scholarship to his dream
school, Morehouse College in Atlanta. He would have become
a lawyer had he lived. His death devastated his twin sister,
his older sister, Lorna, and our entire family.
Eleven months later, my mother died. She
was my best friend and my greatest business advocate. Her
loss has been an excruciatingly deep one for me. Although
she lived in my hometown of Detroit, Michigan, we had spoken
by phone every other day for 27 years. I miss those phone
calls. Yes, I do know about life’s setbacks. When they
come they can hit you so hard that you question whether
you can go on with your life or your career. The uncertainty
and self doubt can become all-consuming. Yet, in spite of
what you’re confronting, you can create an action plan
that will move you through the madness. There are seven
steps you can follow to help you bounce back from the rough
roads that lie ahead. They have certainly worked for me,
so I share them with you to help with whatever comes your
way.
Step One: Reinforce
The Belief In Yourself
Troubling times can create a huge gap
in how you measure your personal abilities and what amount
of confidence that you garner for yourself. Step back and
literally make a list of everything great about yourself
and why you are such a valuable asset to others. Seeing
your good personal qualities on paper will give you that
psychological advantage that you need to pull yourself together.
And I’ll bet you’ll find that your good qualities
far outweigh your bad ones.
Step Two: Assess
The Impact Of Your Crisis
To prevent becoming "overwhelmed"
by your circumstances, take a deep breath and stop long
enough to break down the immediate challenges you face.
Ask yourself key questions. How did it begin? Did you see
it coming? Could it have been prevented? Now that it’s
in your lap, what resources can you call on to resolve the
dilemma? Can other people help you? Will additional research
support your efforts? Can you put a timeframe on your crisis?
And most important, what can you learn from your crisis?
Step Three: Understand
What You Can And Cannot Control
The one important factor that I learned
from my personal losses is that there is much in life that
I do not control! Although the guilt pangs hit me from time
to time, I do know that I had no control over the death
of my son or my mother. Understanding that fact has helped
me to realize that life is filled with complexities that
are way beyond the span of my control. Knowing that has
also helped me to take each moment one step at a time, while
stopping long enough to celebrating the beauty of life itself.
Step Four: Call On
Your Inner Strength
In our diverse world, inner strength can
be defined many different ways. No matter what your faith,
Christian, Muslim, Jewish, Buddhist, Hindu, or a New Age
thinker, belief in a higher power can see you through your
difficulties. For me, prayer, my belief in God, and the
loving support of my family and church helped me through
the darkness that I’ve faced over these last two years.
Assess how you gather your inner strength, and then call
on it when the tough times come. Remember that some challenges
are much bigger than you are. Connecting with that inner
strength will protect and shield you from the emotional
roller coaster rides of life.
Step Five: Talk To
Others
So often we keep all of our troubles bottled
up inside. We tell ourselves, "Nobody else is going
through what I am. People just don’t understand my
problems." Our self talk can be quite powerful. However,
we forget that there may be a colleague, a trusted friend,
a family member, or a business associate who has just experienced
the exact same challenge that you now face. I found that
out very quickly after my son died, when three other mothers
lost their bright and gifted sons in tragic accidents within
two weeks of my son’s death. I realized that the human
experience is shared by all of us. Life spares no one when
it come to facing difficult times. So swallow your pride
and reach out to someone who can support you.
Step Six: Don’t
Lose Your Sense Of Humor
Even in the depths of your despair humor
can bring a welcome change of attitude. Believe it or not,
one of the moments I remember vividly during that fateful
week in June, 1997, centered on the funny stories my daughter,
Lorna, shared at my son’s funeral. Kids’ stories.
Stories that made me laugh. Stories that dried the tears
running down my cheeks. Humorous reflections that we could
all relate to. For those of you who are battling cancer
or who have loved ones who are fighting that dreaded disease,
visit Christine Clifford’s website (www.cancerclub.com).
Christine, a breast cancer survivor and professional speaker,
has developed a wonderful approach to life, and shares her
humorous touch with others via the Internet. For her company
logo, she even uses the profile of an attractive woman sporting
a bald head. Christine is an example that, in spite of your
circumstances, humor can help buffer life’s booby traps
and pitfalls.
Step Seven: Bounce
Back
If you don’t believe much else, do
understand that today’s challenges will become tomorrow’s
memories. They may be forgettable memories, but they’ll
be memories nonetheless. When you concentrate on facing
your challenges and resolving your issues, tomorrow will
come much more quickly. Of course the emotional impact from
the loss of loved ones, divorce, extreme financial woes,
catastrophic illnesses or job loss won’t always go
away in a flash. What you must tell yourself is that you
will overcome your circumstances and you cannot quit. Speaking,
writing, and consulting have been the healing instruments
in my life. The opportunity of addressing audiences and
sharing my personal stories with others has helped me to
bounce back and reposition my life by adding more purpose,
commitment, and dedication into the work that I do. You,
too, can bounce back by customizing these steps we’ve
discussed and applying them each time life’s bottomless
pit reaches up to grabs you. Take a deep breath, think on
your feet, connect with others, find your inner strength,
and remember that tomorrow’s sunshine is right around
the corner.
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